9 Things That Won’t Happen in Self Development

By Rob Coles

Many people experience a sense of general unhappiness with something in their lives. Whether it’s their physical body, level of intelligence, or their bank account, It’s natural for people to compare themselves too…well, everything…and, everyone.  Many people have a culturally indoctrinated fascination with the “pecking order”, and where they fall in said order.  Many people turn to self-development techniques and philosophies to enhance their self esteem and image.  However, if most of us are even slightly honest about our darker sides we occasionally indulge the part of ourselves that wants to be better than others on this partially self-imposed hierarchy.

That being said, here are 9 things that won’t happen in self development:

  • You Will Not Become Better Than Other People—You’ll Just Think You Are…

In fact, that is one of the darkest traps in your development…As you see yourself begin to improve, you will continue (perhaps for quite a while) to use your changes to measure your standing and self worth within the group.  Congratulations!  You actually just became one of the arrogant jerks you made fun of.  The good news is, you have likely in the process of “Lording” over others, stimulated some one else to begin the Journey as well.

  • You Will Not Suddenly Become Famous…

Now, I’m not saying it couldn’t happen…but it isn’t likely someone will suddenly notice you across a crowded room and say “You…You’re The One” just because you learned to be nicer to your Mother, or stopped telling the little homeless man on 35th and Vine to “get a job”…just like your development journey…it’s a process.  You can listen all you want to the “one hit wonder” stories of how people finally got discovered or made it big. But, the key word is “finally”.  Truth is, there are usually many events and experiences before that which allowed them to be the person who was able to take advantage of that precise moment.  It certainly wasn’t the fact that they stopped kicking the neighbor’s dog yesterday.

  • You Don’t Have Any Better Chances Of Winning The Lottery…

In fact, the odds will remain slightly astronomical even if you became the next Dalai Llama.

The only chance you have is buying a poverty-inducing number of tickets regularly to increase your odds.  And to think, if you’d have just gotten that homeless man a job…could’ve spotted you those few extra bucks to make the tipping point.

  • You Will Not Suddenly Become Rich…

You Know…I’m not even going to go here.  Please re-read #3 and #2 (in that order) and mix well.

Draw your own conclusions.

  • You Will Not Be Exempt From The Laws of Mother Nature…

You will still die if you are bitten by poisonous animals.  If you didn’t know how to swim before, you will drown in deep water (no matter how nice you were to the Barrista at Starbucks who messed up your Mocha Smocha what’s it).  You won’t be catching any bullets with your teeth either. Lions will still eat you. Punches will still hurt…you get the picture.

  • You Will Not Be As Angry (Hopefully)…

Once the whole self-righteousness thing wears off, you may find you don’t want to be mean to family members—or even random strangers.  You may even buy the little homeless person an occasional latte.  You will begin to see and direct your angry moments to the little (and, not so little) injustices in the world. You’ll probably even make up with the neighbor’s dog too…

  • You Will Not Look For Excuses…

There are many instances because of our fears or insecurities, we refuse to accept responsibilities for our thoughts and actions.  We Blame. It’s the weather…the traffic…the economy.  If my mom had just given me a puppy when I was six…if the homeless man had just got a job…

Ad Nauseum.  Not one person is ultimately responsible for you except YOU.  As you grow, you won’t be able to avoid it anymore…

  • You Will Not Feel or Be Powerless…

As a matter of fact, the more you dive into the meat of #7, the more you will want to.

You will be poised to really speed up the changes that at first seemed impossible.

You will even revisit some of the things that you originally wanted for more selfish reasons with a new pair of eyes.  You will want to be better because it gives YOU pleasure–not so you can make Bob feel bad.  You begin to want to help others feel as good as you’re feeling, because now you have power over yourself.  What happens doesn’t change what you choose to do about it.

  • You Will Not See Everything As Separate…

You begin to see more connections between things…the “Deus Ex Machina” (God In The Machine).  You begin to think of how each of us are so intricately entangled in each other’s “web”.

You realize bigger pictures of everyday things and events (e.g. the “world-wide” web) and how you fit (have chosen to fit) in the grand scheme of it all.

There are, of course, many other changes and benefits to be had (or stripped away) in each person’s journeys of exploration.  They are as varied and as amazing as each individual.  I simply hoped to highlight just a few.  The sarcastic beginning was simply another tool to be used to attract and hold you captive, much as the beginning of the journey often does.  The real treasure to be had comes as does the journey…step by step.

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